This is a question that has puzzled psychologists and behavioural experts for years and it continues to plague many of us. It is something I find fascinating and am enjoying learning about.
In Michelle Segar’s book The Joy Choice, she discusses how in the moment decisions can derail our good intentions around healthy eating and exercise. I covered some of the background in this post: Why is it so hard to change behaviour when it comes to healthy eating and exercise?
Segar has identified four of these decision disrupters which “literally disrupt our decisions at the moment of choice, often before we realise it”. When taken in the context of our chaotic, busy, stressful and tiring lives, these can easily derail any good intentions we may have. According to Segar, identifying these disruptors, and gaining awareness, is key to forming alternative pathways to successful exercising and healthy eating.
So what are these decision disrupters:
1. Temptation:
Giving in to in the moment tempting choice. This is when our current impulses, desires and wants override what we know we should be doing. It’s the conflict between wanting what we want right now versus long term goals.
The Affective-Reflective Theory (ART) of physical inactivity and exercise
This conflict is so common and familiar that scientists have developed a theory to try to explain it. The Affective-Reflective Theory (ART) of physical inactivity and exercise published by Ralf Brand and Panteleimon Ekkekakis . It taps into Daniel Kaheman’s system 1 (reactive and feeling) and system 2 (rational and logical) thinking. It is the conflict between the automatic gut reaction “affective” versus the more thoughtful long-term “reflective” state. The theory proposes that in order for an individual to successfully participate in exercise the two states must be aligned.
For a lot of people exercise is associated with negative tags which can be rooted in their unconscious mind such as shame, dislike, unpleasant feelings, fatigue, sweat, pain, discomfort or displeasure. These negative connotations become attached to the idea of exercise and can create aversion to doing it in the moment. These feelings are visceral and automatic and can not necessarily be controlled.
Grounded-cognition theory of desire
This theory proposes that our choices related to eating healthily are “grounded by the nonconscious simulations of the relevant senses that are involved when we eat, such as taste, vision and those cultivate desire toward eating”. Behind every choice related to food and drink lies powerful and rich memories creating vivid cues.
Have you ever experienced a very strong desire to eat a cookie when you walk past one of those cookie stalls pumping out the smell of freshly baked goodies? This desire is built into your memory bank from the day you did eat a lovely fresh cookie. You want to experience that sensation again and feel the textures, smells and tastes of that lovely piece of temptation.
Again this can often be deeply embedded in our unconscious thought processes. As a result we may not be aware of this happening. When we succomb to temptation our rational self might end up feeling guilty. We might judge ourselves as weak or lacking in willpower.
None of this is our fault. We certainly aren’t lazy or lacking in willpower – these things are so deeply ingrained it might be hard to overcome them.
2. Rebellion:
Rebelling against the “should”. When our freedom and sense of autonomy feels threatened we can sometimes take the opposite path of rebellion. The communications we tap into in our daily lives are continually bombarding us with should messages. We should eat this and not that, we should exercise x amount, we should look a certain way etc.
If our reaction to these should messages is to get annoyed then the likely outcome is rebellion and doing exactly the opposite of what the should is telling us. It can sometimes feel empowering to rebel and embrace our sense of autonomy and personal choice.
E.g. “sod it I’m sick of my GP telling me I need to exercise more I’ll sit on the sofa and eat crisps instead”.
Cognitive dissonance
Michelle Segar talks about cognitive dissonance as “a fight between two conflicting beliefs, values, or states“. People experiencing cognitive dissonance may try to minimise the discomfort they face by rebelling against the rules and doing the opposite of what they have been told.
These type of conflicts can be very common in smokers and those trying to lose weight through dieting. Having a cigarette or eating that slice of cake can be a way of retaining a sense of control and an alignment of self-worth in the short term. This poses a very complex psychological dilemma for people which may not be easily understood. Studies have shown that social stigma for those trying to lose weight can cause “increasing vulnerability to stress, depression, low self-esteem, poor body image, maladaptive eating behaviours and avoidance of physical activity”. As Segar writes, “unfortunately…physical activity and healthy eating have gotten all tangled up in the classic shoulds related to weight and health, and the associated stigma and shame”. This can result in a confusing mess of feelings and emotions about what we should be doing and what we shouldn’t. “It creates a continual inner tug-of-war about food and movement choices”.
Given this complexity it isn’t surprising that so many people rebel against the very choices they know they should be making.
3. Accommodation:
Putting the needs of others before our own goals to the detriment of ourselves. This can start out with a simple action such as eating a piece of cake because you have been offered it by your close friend and you don’t want to hurt their feelings. I am sure we have all been here before. You are out with colleagues and decided you were not going to drink any alcoholic drinks and then your boss offers to buy you a drink. You don’t want to seem like you are “boring” or not joining in the socialising so you think to yourself that “one won’t hurt”. It’s true that making one off decisions, which go against your long-term health plans, are unlikely to hinder your progress. However, these sorts of decisions can often snowball over time and become a real barrier to healthy eating and exercise goals.
Research has shown that altruistic behaviour results in benefits all round for the giver as well as those around them. However, some givers go too far the other way and sacrifice too much. As Segar writes “selfless givers are inclined to drop everything when people need something from them”. She adds “when there is an imbalance between the care and concern we give to others and to ourselves, we are at higher risk for burnout and getting sick”.
This is another familiar story and one which I often see in my work with women and mothers in particular. Exercise and healthy eating goals can slip to the bottom of the priority list as there are so many other needs to consider in the busy day.
E.g. “I can’t go to my yoga class as my son/daughter is crying and needs me rather than my partner for bedtime”. As Segar notes “accomodation, unlike other decision disrupters, can touch us where we are most vulnerable, in relationship to our undeniable value of and responsibility and care for and nurture family, friendships, relationships and work”.
It may be an accommodation red flag if you see self-care as selfish. This notion goes against all of the research in this area showing that prioritising self-care is anything but selfish.
4. Perfectionism:
Assuming the ideal over the real. Perfectionism is the trap many of us fall into when we embark on ambitious new year healthy eating and exercise regimes. This is the pathway to success we have been taught and sold by the diet and fitness industry. It’s the all or nothing approach, the way to get the perfect body, how to achieve ultimate health and fitness and be happy forever. It’s the never eating any processed food ever again, the working out 5-6 times a week, the drinking no alcohol.
If we fail, which we inevitably will, we will chastise ourselves with self-blame and lack of willpower and self-control. As we try to get it right we go round and round in circles and are stuck in an endless trap of exercise plans, diets and subsequent failings when things inevitably don’t pan out because the initial goal was too unrealistic in the context of real life.
Segar notes that perfectionism “creates the perfect conditions” for the other 3 decision disruptors. It “stops us in our tracks” as it leaves no room for flexible thinking or taking an alternative path. E.g. if I can’t do it I won’t do it at all: “I don’t have time to do a 1 hour session in the gym so there’s no point in going at all”.
“Rising up, consciously and unconsciously – memories of mouth-watering meals, feeling shamed for adolescent weight probems, being called last for the team in junior high PE, defiance against deeling controlled, feeling selfish about self-care, stressed out by choosing between the all or the nothing – these disruptors ambush our focus and trap our attention, ultimately resisting our hoped-for, planned for, and well-intended eating or exercise decisions”.
Michelle Segar The Joy Choice
Ironically research shows that people who seek to have more self-control actually end up having less self-control. “Believing that we need more self-control to succeed only reinforces our belief that we don’t have what it takes to get there”.
So what do we do to overcome these decision disruptors?
Half of the battle may be in recognising these disruptive thoughts and starting to build self-awareness of the “in the moment” choices we are making. Seeing patterns of thought emerging is often a very powerful way to start to change thinking. Can you spot some of these in the moment decision disruptors?
In The Joy Choice, Segar proposes a new way of tackling these decision disruptors which I will cover in future blog posts.
